I never felt so lost before.
I mean what are the chances. I should have saw it coming right. I've been thinking should i just distant myself away from everything i once loved so much. Sometimes i wished i'm wrong yet never once was i wrong about such stuffs.

Everytime i try to get closer, i seem to get further.
Perhaps i shan't try so hard. The harder i try, the more painful it gets.
I love these things but why is it so hard to get closer.
Sometimes i'm told i'm thinking too much. But the real question is am i?
There isn't a single reason for me to counter my own doubts.
Perhaps for the time to come i'll just do my own part, hide in my shell once again.
I guess this is a typical cancerian, everytime i get hurt, i'll isolate myself and shut myself off.
This is the same situation yet again.
The epitome of isolation.
Isolation seems to reflect what i should do.
I won't put anyone off.
I'll be in my own world.
Nothing seems right anymore.

Promos are finally over!!!
The class went out on saturday to sentosa, sunday to xixian's house for stayover
I love 09S7C!
1 month to PW OP. come on people let's do it!
When we had to study for promos, we complain
When we have time to play now, we complain too.
That's just human nature isn't it?

That's so not the point of my post today

My memory is like a million paged book
Flipping pages and pages to see what i've been through
The very chapter that talks about you
Reminds me of how far you pushed me away
This very chapter captures your lovely smile
Yet at the same time, makes me afraid falling for you

I've been working on a thousand pieced puzzle
But i can't seem to piece it all together
You are this puzzle i want to complete
So that i can understand you
This puzzle, will it ever be finished
I've been asking myself this question

Your lovely smile melts my heart
Remains etched in my very mind

Enchanted by a smile that doesn't belong to me
 -to be continued-

Second for me, still have a lot of editing to do. I need inspiration.
For some unknown reason i want to say I CAN'T WAIT FOR SCHOOL TMRW! 
I think i'm crazy. REAL CRAZY.
Woohoo! Band on friday! though its sectionals but still its band!
I got myself a new bag and a new bottle.
Next up on the list, new wallet and clothes.

Woohoo! Promos end on the 9th!!!!!!! laugh at you physics people XP
On a more serious note, promos are coming real soon and i'm not done with revision yet. SHIT
Okay i need to get my zoo friends to go study with me. 

some real ex gep-er:"got so easy to retain meh?"
another real ex gep-er:"cse and econs die, maths and chem dunnid study"
some fake ex gep-er:"promote very easy de"
me:"wth u stupid giraffe, panda and penguin"

Okay tt was random but yeah i'm screwed for promos.

 I want!

1. Schmidt Mouthpiece
2. Horn Mutes
3. MB Horn Case
4. iPod Touch 32gb BLACK
5. Nike/Converse/Adidas Training Bag
6. Nike Leather Bag
7. Adidas Adicolor
8. Converse/Everlast Sneakers
9. Adidas Superstar II RED
10.  Nice new leather wallet
11.  Nike Bottle
12. The shirt at SPADE at AMK HUB
13. Levi/Levi Strauss Jeans
14. Recoil Short Sleeve
15. Recoil Shorts
16. Billabong Belt BLACK & WHITE
17. New Spectacles
18. New Hairstyle
19. Alumni Band for HCImpressione
20. Recovery rate to increase
21. Study damn hard for Promos
22. Get promoted without needing to downgrade any subjects
23. Promos to be over
24. A for PW 

Okay i can't remember anything else i want for now.
I WANT! XD

 Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Perhaps. 
I just know that this is not going to end so easily or so soon.
I know that this is my break.
I know.

How am i supposed to know? I mean if your attitude suddenly changes, how am i supposed to react. I always thought that we were good friends, i used to be able to tell you a lot of stuffs. Maybe it's my fault. I'm guessing it is. I just hate the way it is now yet i'm feeling helpless. I know there's only one way out of this, but i don't know if things will turn for the better or for the worse. 

I never saw it coming, should have started running, a long long time ago.
Just simple lyrics from daughtry's over you.
But it reflects alot, i seriously never saw it coming, it just came.
I don't know why it happened but it just did. 
I've been questioning myself why, but all i got was a silence. 
I can't explain such stuffs, noone can.
I know i should have avoided it as much as i could have, but i couldn't
Every corner i turn to is a dead end smacked right in my face. 
I wish i could fly up into the sky, dig deep down into the earth to avoid it.
But i can't.
A sudden coldness, what is that supposed to mean. 
Tell me.
Awkward. Yes.
Pain. Yes.
Helpless. Yes

I don't know. Screw this.

Ok, its been long. You guys should know i'm not one that blogs alot.

My results aren't exactly fantastic but i feeling relieved yet at the same time disappointed.
Yeah when i received my results i passed but not good, i show a sigh of relief but something just feels wrong deep down. If i studied so hard for this blocks and this is the results i'm getting, what will happen to me during promos? If i'm lucky enough to be promoted, next year's blocks, prelims & A levels. Yes it's that fast. Within a blink of an eye, it's already the 7th month into 2009 going into the 8th. Its time to really settle down, study hard. Get promoted. I don't know what's going wrong with me. Okay, maybe everything. 

I feel like i'm screwing up everything. Almost set myself on fire during chem pract, yes i almost did. Tipping over the spirit lamp and kaboom the table was on fire. I created history in the chem lab, a memorable one. Nothing to be proud of but till now i still think it was quite amusing. How i burnt myself and didn't realise it. 

Zero-conversation as yuanhao puts it. Yeah it sucks really. I have no idea how to reverse the situation besides accepting the suggestion given. Time to pluck up courage, time to face reality, TIME TO CHANGE THE SITUATION FOR THE BETTER(i hope). 

Band Prac started on friday. Sight read songs and our sight reading skills were hmm crap. Probably due to the long break due to blocks and H1N1. I seriously like the sound my horn makes. =D I can't wait for the next prac but it clashes with OCS camp visiting. Damn it. Hopefully they will put prac on tuesday or thursday because i want to watch HP6 tmrw though many many people says it sucks. But it doesn't really matter since i'm watching the movie because i've watched the other 5. 

Well it all comes down to this, monday or tuesday. As long as i get the opportunity to do so, i will. I'm not going to let this continue, i can't take it anymore. I'm determined and it is time for a change.

I don't know why but i'm super exhausted. I suddenly lost the push to do work. AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ELECTIONS! I think i just need a rest from schoolwork.

I can't even think properly and i know i'm going to be short tempered today.

Oh wells, this is screwed, i'm going to flunk blocks so badly.

Well, after a long long haitus, i get the urge to blog once again. Although its not gonna last but i guess its a good place for me to post my thoughts.

Elections yesterday, though i didn't get any posts at the end but contrary to popular belief i'm really fine. In fact, i'm feeling great. I admit i was a tad disappointed when i didn't get any post. The moment when the results were announced, i received a few messages from people asking me if i'm alright. I almost teared, not because i didn't get any post, but because i felt loved. When i reached home, i received an email from Sarah and her email not only made my day but also made me cry. Having known each other for 7 years, although we didn't speak much when we were in our respective secondary schools but when i heard that she got into hwachong, what i wanted to was to catch up old times with her. People can say i emo or whatever but after reading her email yesterday, i picked up the photo of me and her together with our batchmates in primary 6. For that moment, i realised how much pcps band has influenced us and i felt that bond and friendship that we had carved in our hearts since 7years ago. From the kids we were in primary 6 to now college students. I vaguely recall when i first joined band in primary 5, the first impression i got from sarah was this girl that sat in the corner of the room using her sticks to hit something.

When results were announced yesterday, for that moment, my life in band which started in primary 5 till now flashed through my mind. From the first time i picked up a clarinet, breaking many reeds in just a few days to picking up an Eb horn to a French Horn which i never put down since. Sec 1, i refused to join band but still got put in it. From then on, the passion for band just kept on burning. Sec 2, pioneer batch of people to bring hciband back to the outdoor scene. Sec 3, silver award for SYF. Sec 4, bringing the band to the COD again, in the process injuring my thumb and wrist which aren't fully healed yet, mace scratching the wrist which left a scar bringing back the fond memories of the preparation of SYF. End of sec 4, joined philyouth and contemplated whether to join YO or hcband. J1, SYF gold award. Teared on stage. Finally to elections. That pretty much summarises my life in band.

So yeah, 1 more year in hcband, 1 more year to pursue my passion, 1 more year to playing with this group of awesome people. Although i'll still be playing in Philyouth but the feeling would just be different. hcband <3 edhunt3r and edhunt3r <3 hcband.

Class outing today at daryl's house! Pool party and BBQ! I would say it was quite fun, getting pushed into the pool, getting wet. Drinking 3 barcadis, people saying one another drunk =.= truth or truth, coming up with weird food like hotdog wrapped around cheese, chocolate bananas (credits to me! XD) I'm super happy that the outing was great!

Today's outing made me realised that i didn't really know my classmates as much as i thought i did but i certainly did understand them more now. I love 09S7C! A bunch of people that really changed my life, a crazy bunch of friends that i'll definitely not forget, people that would remain in my memories forever.